Harry gets AIDS
by heygurlheyyyy
Summary: Harry finds out he has AIDS.


**Dis.: I do not own Harry –frikkafrikka- POTTAH.**

**HARRY GETS AIDS**

"FUCK!" Harry Potter shouted angrily as he slammed the door to his and Ron's room open. It was supposedly a regular day at Hogwarts, until Harry came back from the hospital.

"What is it, sugar muffin?" Ron asked, sexily walking towards Harry. He was wearing a tight, small white t-shirt that said 'Bitch' in pink letters and a skimpy pink g-string. Yup, pretty normal.

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT IT IS!" Harry screamed, slapping Ron in the face.

"What the hell, Harry?" Ron cried. "Honey, what's going on?"

"YOU GAVE ME AIDS, ASSHOLE!" Harry cried, holding a piece of paper in his hand.

"W-what?" Ron took the piece of paper and scanned it over. It said 'Harry has AIDS, asshole.' "How is that MY fault?" Ron shouted. "I didn't even know I_ had _AIDS!"

"RON! You told me while we were having hot steamy butt-sex last week that you had gotten tested!" Harry was now furious and began vigorously humping Ron. "I WANT MY LIFE BACK YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

"OMG. This means I have AIDS! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Ron cried. Harry was still humping Ron when a familiar voice came on.

"Welcome to the Jerry Springer Show!" An announcer said. Suddenly, Harry and Ron were on the stage of the Jerry Springer show in front of a live studio audience. Jerry randomly appeared out of nowhere.

"Hello boys! What seems to be the problem?" Jerry asked as Ron and Harry sat down.

"THIS MOTHERFUCKER GAVE ME AIDS EVEN THOUGH HE SAID HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY!" Harry shouted.

"OOOOOOO." The crowd said.

"WHAT THE HELL HARRY? YOU KNOW I WAS DRUNK!" Ron shouted, then started sobbing.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHH." The crowd said again.

"When exactly did you find out you had AIDS, Harry?" Jerry asked.

"Last Thursday." Ron said, then laughed.

"UGGAUGGAUGGAHJSOFJDFJDOSFJDSHASSLEHOFF." The crowd said.

"He wasn't talking to you, fuckface!" Harry said to Ron. He then ripped off his clothes and started pounding his chest.

"HULK ANGRY!!!! HULK WANT EATTTTTTTTTTT!!!!" Harry shouted, making ape noises and jumping onto Ron.

"FUCK HARRY NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN!!" Ron cried, as two random children appeared on the Jerry Springer Show (seriously?) and started sobbing.

"FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" Most of the crowd screamed. Then the monkeys in the front row started ripping their clothes off and jumping up and down on their chairs.

"OOO OOO OOOO AH AH!!!" The monkeys shouted, throwing feces at the audience.

The audience took their own feces and fought back with the monkeys as Ron and Harry were fighting. Two security guards came but were shot by Abraham Lincoln, who was in the back of the room.

"Everyone settle down, please!" Jerry cried, then was squashed by a giant statue of Tony the Tiger. "I should've been doctor Phil's 3-way sex partner when I had the chance." Jerry sighed, then vomited all over the floor.

Everyone was still fighting when a shadowy figure appeared in the back. He punched Abe Lincoln and took out a machine gun.

"EVERYONE! SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT!" Bill Nye the Science Guy shouted. He then shot a random guy who was dancing and killed him. Everyone settled down and was now silent, including the monkeys.

"What the hell do you want, asshole? Can't you see I'm HANDICAPPED." Harry shouted, pointing randomly to his private and humping the air.

"You don't look handicapped to me." Bill said, putting on a rainbow cape and flying up to Ron and Harry. Ron was on the floor bleeding, and held up a weak arm to Bill.

"Help….me….." Ron whispered weakly, then Bill smashed his head into the ground and shot him in the face.

"You gave this poor soul AIDS, bitch!" Bill shouted, then spitted on Ron.

"Bill, you're my hero, how did you know I had AIDS?" Harry asked, walking up to Bill and embracing him in a hug.

"DON'T TOUCH ME, FOOL!" Bill shouted, then turned into Batman and threw Harry out a random window. "And if any of you fuckers tell ANYONE about this, I'll fucking kill you! I know all of your names and where you live!" Bill shouted threatingly, pointing a gun at Stacy and Clinton from What Not to Wear.

Everyone started screaming and ran out, leaving Bill, an unconscious Jerry, two dead security guards and a dead Ron lying on the floor.

Bill walked up to Ron and squatted down.

"I've been watching you, Ron." Bill whispered, gently stroking Ron's hair. He then kissed him lightly on the lips. "You were my favorite, you know."

Bill then started crying, and his magical tears grew a gigantic beanstalk. The whole cast of Veggie Tales came down from the stalk.

"Come, join us Bill, join ussss." Said Larry the weird-ass Cucumber.

Bill started sobbing tears of joy. "I will! I will! I love you guys!" Bill shouted happily, hugging a talking asparagus.

Bill and the Veggie Tales then went up the magical beanstalk. It disappeared, and Bill Nye the Science Guy was never seen again.

THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY KFC'S FAT ASS MEAL. GO GET IT TODAY!

**END!**

**IF**

**U**

**SEEK**

**AMY.**

**AND I MEAN IT. ;D D: JKJKJKLOLOLOL**


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